A Mum’s Brave Story of Loss and Hope: Chapter 1, Being a Mum

"I was so delighted when I gave birth to my baby girl...."

I didn’t want to know the sex before they were born, I wanted a surprise.

To me, that would have been like opening a Christmas present early!

I went into labour on the Saturday and my baby was born Sunday morning.

The birth was difficult because the cord was short and was wrapped around their neck and their heart rate kept dropping.

But I was so delighted when I found out I had a little girl. My daughter! I remember she weighed 7lb 2oz.

Being a mum came naturally to me.

I loved feeding, changing and looking after her.

“Sadly, my relationship with my partner broke down shortly after….”

My boyfriend didn’t want me to go through with the pregnancy, which was really upsetting. My head was all over the place. But I had decided I wanted to keep the baby.

When I returned home after my daughter was born, things were OK to start with. My partner took time off work and helped to look after our daughter. It felt like we were a family of 3.

But he only managed to live up to it for 5 days.

Soon he didn’t do anything around the house and didn’t look after the baby, he just couldn’t cope.

He would be abusive towards me or he would walk out after getting angry and throwing things.

He didn’t like that everything revolved around the baby and not him. My mind was focused on our baby.

I decided to end the relationship.

“After he moved out, I tried my best. But things were hard….”

I parented alone, my mum lived an hour away.

We didn’t see anything of my ex-partner, he wasn’t interested in his daughter.

I did the best I could, but things became difficult.

I’d been drinking alcohol and my daughter was struggling with school attendance and her emotions.

“I know I went down the wrong path….”

A referral was made to social services when my daughter was aged 3, but nothing came of it, as social services said everything was ok.

But another report was made when she was older and in school and that’s when social services became involved…..

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