A Mum’s Brave Story of Loss and Hope: Chapter 4, finding hope in Hurdle

"I found out about Hurdle from a girl at alcohol recovery services who mentioned it to me. I looked at it online as soon as I heard about it and decided to make a self-referral."

I didn’t really feel anxious about doing it because it was something I was choosing for myself and wasn’t linked to social services.

My first impressions of Hurdle were that I could say what I wanted, it was up to me how they worked with me.

I told them my background and it went from there.

Hurdle listened, I could say what I needed, and they actually helped.

It felt good that someone was there with me, someone to listen and not judge me.

My Keyworker didn’t write things down. I could say as much or as little as I wanted. There was no pressure to say anything and I felt I could build a proper relationship with them.

My Keyworker looked at what things were in the community that could help me get back on my feet and recommended services that would help.

I used to feel anxious going out of the house but my Keyworker would visit and we would go on walks together. Soon my confidence grew and I was going on regular walks and keen to get my steps in!

It really helped having my Keyworker’s support in professional meetings. Hurdle was the only one who had something positive to say about me. Hurdle were there by my side and gave me feedback at the end of meetings and always made sure I was OK.

Working with Hurdle made me never feel alone.

During my time working with Hurdle I have completed a lot of work in areas that I said I wanted help and support with….

I completed a 16-week compassion focused therapy group which helped give me the confidence to speak out in groups, deal with social services involvement and get my point across whilst remaining calm.

I completed the parenting group which helped me understand my daughter’s emotions and how best to support her with everything she was going though, like being in foster care.

I also did protection group, which I found helpful, particularly for online safety. Although I know some things, it’s important to have good up to date knowledge in this area, as things are always changing, and knowledge helps you to protect your child.

The Freedom Programme was an eye opener, listening to other mums’ experiences and sharing mine. Learning about the different Laws you can use to protect yourself, such as Sarah’s Law and Claire’s Law and learning about the different abusive behaviours and how to recognise the ‘red flags’ in relationships.

When I first did the groups with Hurdle, it was online because of Covid and sometimes I was the only one, but I didn’t mind because I was still getting something out of it, I was still learning. It was better when the groups moved face-to-face and you could listen to others and learn about their experiences.

Doing the groups with Hurdle and other groups I have done, has given me confidence, I’m more aware and have more knowledge now, I also learnt that I do know things. Because it had been suggested I had a learning need, it made me doubt my abilities, but I found out I knew more than I realised, which also helped my confidence.

Since working with Hurdle, I have been able to build trust have positive working relationships with them.

I have grown as a person and through my experience I am now able to offer encouragement to other parents who have been through a similar experience, because I understand what it’s like.

“Working with Hurdle made me never feel alone."

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